Sex and Relationships
[CONFESSAY] My Relationship Is Giving Me Writer's Block

[CONFESSAY] My Relationship Is Giving Me Writer’s Block

Sometimes I think we’re just a generation of self-proclaimed Carrie Bradshaw wanna-bes: writing publicly about our sex lives and relationships because not only does it help us create a network of support, (which, if only for a day or two in a comment thread, normalizes our issues) but kicks away any shame we may still...
[BUY SHIT] Slutever Vag T-Shirt

[BUY SHIT] Slutever Vag T-Shirt

There’s a new head vagina in town (haha, head vagina, get it?), and her name is Slutever. You guys are probably old butties from VICE, or maybe you’ve been following her provocative and insightful Breathless column for Vogue. However you knew her before, maybe you met at a Forever 21 in a suburban mall and bonded...
[BANG BANG] The Hookup Generation: Or How One Flaccid Penis Led Me to Re-Examine My Entire Self-Esteem

[BANG BANG] The Hookup Generation: Or How One Flaccid Penis Led Me to Re-Examine My Entire Self-Esteem

I am part of the hookup generation.  We don’t date, we have flings.  We don’t talk on the phone, we text.  We have sex on the first date, and sometimes never talk again, only to awkwardly bump into one another at a party a few weeks later and pretend everything is fine (I thought we...
[TRUE STORY] Not All Bi People Are In Open Relationships

[TRUE STORY] Not All Bi People Are In Open Relationships

It’s been said that being bisexual doubles your chances of getting a date on a Friday night. To be honest, I’ve never really dated. I’m more of a “That was fun. Now tell me where you live so I can stay there forever and ever; don’t worry, I’ll pitch in for rent, ” kind of girl. I...
[TRUE STORY] I Lost My Virginity To A Juggalo*

[TRUE STORY] I Lost My Virginity To A Juggalo*

*Okay so he wasn’t a full Juggalo, no face paint or Faygo, but he was definitely an ICP super fan. Here’s the story I will probably never tell my daughter: By today’s standards, I lost my virginity late. I grew up in Torrance where we started drinking beers in the alley behind school at twelve...
[BRA BURNING] Reaching For The Pie: Embracing Your Domestic Side

[BRA BURNING] Reaching For The Pie: Embracing Your Domestic Side

When I first received my Paperless Post invitation to attend an event categorized as a “Gathering Of Pies,” my armpit hair immediately grew 1/4 of an inch and I rushed to dig my picket sign out of retirement. According to the invite, I’d been chosen, along with a handful of other “great” women, to congregate...
[TRUE STORY] Say What You Mean, and Other Seemingly Obvious Lessons Tinder Taught Me

[TRUE STORY] Say What You Mean, and Other Seemingly Obvious Lessons Tinder Taught Me

Every now and again, something happens (not a concussion) to make me think it’d be fun to be single. This something generally has nothing to do with private parts. Most recently, it’s Tinder, the dating app that all my hilarious and intelligent female friends (both IRL and IBF) are raving about. In one of her...
[TINDER TALES] How I Fell Hard For Tinder

[TINDER TALES] How I Fell Hard For Tinder

I have been on Tinder for 3 weeks. I have been turned down 0 times (because I am a babe, you dingus!) I have matched with 129 people. I am currently messaging with 71 of them. I have been texting with 3. I actually think I have a crush on 1. I should start by saying...
[TRUE STORY] Haunted By Hello Kitty, And Other Moving Moments

[TRUE STORY] Haunted By Hello Kitty, And Other Moving Moments

*This article was originally published in a slightly different form a year ago here. It’s since been edited, updated, and republished in the spirit of Halloween. As a woman with a regularly maintained pixie-coif, it’s never fun finding long, curly hairs clogging the drain of a moldy bathtub. When you share a home with someone,...
[TRUE STORY] I'd Fuck Myself

[TRUE STORY] I’d Fuck Myself

A plot twist in a recent sci-fi film lead the protagonist into an unexpected collision with a clone of himself.  I couldn’t help but wonder, “What would I do if I met my own clone?”  And without hesitating, I answered in my head, “fuck myself.” I began noticing my own autosexuality sometime in high school. ...
[COSMO SUCKS] Does Anyone Have a Spare Boat So I Can Rock It?

[COSMO SUCKS] Does Anyone Have a Spare Boat So I Can Rock It?

One day, Cosmo is going post a listing on Mediabistro calling for a cynical and clever sex writer with a penchant for the casual misuse of who and whom and a heavy reliance on inserting her own emotional baggage into all assignments for emphasis. On that day, I will jump with joy (I don’t jump, so what...
[LISTS] The 5 Best Compliments My Vagina Has Ever Gotten

[LISTS] The 5 Best Compliments My Vagina Has Ever Gotten

In this humble piece of work by Larry Hardin (excerpted above), recently published in a lusty erotic novel I dusted off at a yard sale, I mean Thought Catalog, the self-descibed guy with a whole bunch of dick thoughts, listed for us, in far too much detail, the five best compliments his very cocky cock...