In keeping with the great tradition of looking sideways at self-improvement around January 1st, here is a giant post of New Year’s Resolutions from people we admire, people we can’t stand, and other people we call friends.

 

 

Mish Way

photo by Tara Dwelsdorf

MISH WAY, WHITE LUNG

To drunk text less and to record all of “Death Church” with Hether Fortune. And cat spit.

 

Hether Fortune

Photo by Jason Jordan

HETHER FORTUNE, WAX IDOLS

To be so batshit crazy obsessed / in love with my work and my friends that I have absolutely no room for romantic love with idiots … and to watch every single Nicolas Cage movie ever made. Maybe I should write a Nic Cage concept album as well ?! THE FUTURE IS OPEN WIDE. Plus, cat spit.

 

Jennifer Clavin Bleached

JENNIFER CLAVIN, BLEACHED

My goal this year is to learn to surf so I can be surfing at midnight for next New Year’s eve. Also, cat spit.

 

Dee Dee

Photo via @dumdumgirls Instagram

DD, DUM DUM GIRLS

To use a canvas bag for groceries and to learn how to tell people off.

BRANDON WELCHEZ, CROCODILES

My New Year’s resolution is to not be such a negative fuck.

 

Jared Swilley Black Lips

Photo via @jjaredswilley Instagram

JARED SWILLEY, BLACK LIPS

To stop breaking my nose and getting black eyes/facial injuries. My resolution is to end my fighting career.

 

Izzy Hunters

IZZY ALMEIDA, HUNTERS

To be less neurotic.

 

 

Rikky Gage White Fang

Photo via @freeeweeed Instagram

RIKKY GAGE, WHITE FANG and THE MEMORIES

To call my mom more. I talk to her like once a year, I should change that. And to listen to more reggae.

 

Ty Segall

Photo via Ty Segall

TY SEGALL, TY SEGALL BAND & FUZZ

My New Year’s Resolution is to go sky diving. And to ride Superman at Six Flags.

 

Mikal Cronin

Photo via Mikal Cronin

MIKAL CRONIN

To not get kicked out of my place in SF and to eat more salad!

 

Emily Rose

Photo via Emily Epstein

EMILY ROSE, TY SEGALL BAND

To learn how to fix cars. And to go to Six Flags more.

 

Chad Ubovich Meatbodies

Photo by Alice Baxley

 CHAD UBOVICH, CHAD AND THE MEATBODIES & MIKAL CRONIN BAND & FUZZ

To beat GTAV.

 

AUDACITY

photo by Alice Baxley

MATT SCHMALFELD, AUDACITY

I want to gain muscle tone and move out of my parents’ house :)

THOMAS ALVAREZ, AUDACITY

To start smoking.

CAMERON CROWE, AUDACITY

To go on food stamps.

KYLE GIBSON, AUDACITY

To look more like Yasi.

 

Stephen McDonald Redd Kross

photo by Ringo H.W Chiu for LA Times

 

STEVEN MCDONALD, REDD KROSS

No more cigerettes. And better spelling in 2014. Better stress management, More graceful leading. Less reacting to paranoia no matter how sleep deprived.

 

Sean Woods The Spits

photo via Rollo & Grady

SEAN WOOD, THE SPITS

To redo the top end on my Chevy and to stop fighting with my old man! Learn “Great White Buffalo” by Ted Nugent. Get a summer job and just stay outta trouble.

 

dale-crover

DALE CROVER, MELVINS

My New Year’s resolution is to clear out all the useless crap I’ve managed to collect. I have a hard time throwing stuff away. I’m a borderline candidate to be on Hoarders!

 

Brody McKnight Nu Sensae

Photo via @yasicultist Instagram

 

 BRODY MCKNIGHT, NU SENSAE

To cry.

 

Andrea Lukic Nu Sensae

Photo via Andrea Lukic

ANDREA LUKIC, NU SENSAE

To cry less.

 

Antwon Nature

Photo via @antwonnature Instagram

 ANTWON

To marry you Yasi. Kim and Kanye ;)

 

Sad Andy

Photo via Sad Andy

SAD ANDY

To pay rent on time and get muscles :3

 

Blaque Chris

Photo via Blaque Chris

BLAQUE CHRIS

To eat more hot wings.

 

Shannon WOWOWOWO

SHANNON CORNETT, FULL TIME PUNX

Kill ‘em all and let god sort ‘em out. Also cat spit. Wowowowow.

 

Jed Maheu Zig Zags

Photo by Rick Rodney

JED MAHEU, ZIG ZAGS

To stop talking about The Growlers at work with Stephen.

 

Josh Landau The Shrine

Photo via Crap Eyewear

JOSH LANDAU, THE SHRINE

To find Animal Chin and have him play a guitar solo on a live album.

 

Fletcher Shears The Garden

photo via Fletcher Shears

FLETCHER SHEARS, THE GARDEN

Resolution: To become a licensed gimp. I’m tired of pretending to be the real thing.

Wyatt Shears The Garden

photo via Wyatt Shears

WYATT SHEARS, THE GARDEN

To avoid making eye contact with men in pig masks.

Chris Guantanamo Baywatch

Photo via @chruxtopher Instagram

CHRISTOPHER MICHAEL, GUANTANAMO BAYWATCH

My New Year’s resolution is to practice singing “Keep On Loving You” by REO Speedwagon.

 

Chevelle Guantanamo Baywatch

Photo via @chevbone Instagram

CHEVELLE, GUANTANAMO BAYWATCH

My New Year’s resolution is to get my bank account above out of the negative.

Jason Guantanamo Baywatch

Photo via @jaseofbase69 Instagram

JASON POWELL, GUANTANAMO BAYWATCH

My New Year’s resolution is to get betr at spelling and to touch Yasi’s butt.

 

photo by Isabel Arcelia

photo by Isabel Arcelia

 

ZAC CARPER, FIDLAR

To open a Del Taco.

Max Kuehn FIDLAR

Photo via @maxwellatom Instagram

MAX KUEHN, FIDLAR

To get more stuff from SkyMall.

Alex Shen Meat Market

Photo by Raphael Villet

ALEX SHEN, MEAT MARKET

To get off the computer, to write more music, to buy real estate.

Jake Freitas Meat Market

photo via Jake Freitas

JAKE FREITAS, MEAT MARKET

I want to blow coke into somebody’s butt this year.

 

Coathangers

Photo by Ryan Russell

STEPHANIE LUKIC, THE COATHANGERS

I wanna try and become more aware of who I am and how I treat others, and ultimately fix whatever needs fixin! That and smoke a lot of pot ha.

MEREDITH FRANCO, THE COATHANGERS

To learn how to drive.

 

Fletcher C Johnson

photo via @fletchercjohnson Instagram

FLETCHER C. JOHNSON

I’ve already watched Silver-Linings Playbook over 10 times. I bet I can do 40 more in 2014. There are 12 movies I’ve watched over 50 times. My guess is, this will be the 13th. I don’t like figuring out what I’m going to watch when I sit down. I just put on the last thing I saw again.

I guess I’d also like to get my anxiety and depression under control, but what are the chances of that! I just got a prescription for Effetor so that will be my test in 2014. Prozac and Lexapro did NOT work.

 

Hanni El Khatib

photo by Hayden Tobin

HANNI EL KHATIB

To keep my Taco Bell intake to a once per week minimum.

Andrew Flores Destruction Unit

photo via Andrew Flores

ANDREW FLORES, DESTRUCTION UNIT & JOCK CLUB & MARSHSTEPPER

Listen to more sitars.

CH

MICHAEL FIORE, CRIMINAL HYGIENE

To eat less pizza.

SEAN BIRDMAN, CRIMINAL HYGIENE

Quit music, skateboards, and surfboards cause they’re childish and a waste of time. Get a grownup job.

 

Rachel Birke Heller Keller

Photo via Rachel Birke

RACHEL BIRKE, HELLER KELLER

The main one I have about music is to stop acting like a giggly embarrassed nervous wreck when I play music that isn’t Heller Keller haha. And my general one is to stop being depressed about being depressed.

 

Sam James Velde

Photo by Alice Baxley

SAM JAMES VELDE, OBLITERATIONS

Do everything full throttle and don’t look back.

 

Stephen McBean

Photo via Stephen McBean

STEPHEN MCBEAN, BLACK MOUNTAIN & PINK MOUNTAINTOPS & OBLITERATIONS

To keep weeding out.

 

Beach Party band

photo by Joshua Spencer

NICO, BEACH PARTY

Say “Bye” before I hang up the telephone.

JAMES, BEACH PARTY

Run a marathon.

ROB, BEACH PARTY

To tour more.

ADAM, BEACH PARTY

More cowbell.

 

Faye Orlove

photo via Faye Orlove

FAYE ORLOVE, ILLUSTRATOR

My resolution is to date every member of One Direction especially Harry but least especially Liam and moderate especially Louis.

Sasha Hecht

photo by Nick Gazin

SASHA HECHT, EDITOR AND WRITER

Shoot guns in the desert, wear almost exclusively luxury lounge-wear, hang out with cool dogs, get into less bar fights, get into more bar fights, do less bad drugs, kiss more people, drive more cars, break hearts that aren’t my own, remember to answer my parents’ text messages, hang out in a seven foot tall champagne glass hot tub in the Pocanos, care more, care less.

 

Mel Zee

MEL ZEE, WRITER

I wanna stop being mean to myself.

Rachelyn Remz

photo via Rachelyn Remz

RACHELYN REMZ, CULTIST

To work on fewer projects but actually complete them, to let things go with less struggle, to spend more time with full albums and to learn how to be a proper girl.

Klaus

photo via @cultistzine Instagram

USELESS INTERN KLAUS, CULTIST & SEXLESS BAND

To put on more airs.

 

Rick Rodney

photo via Rick Rodney

RICK RODNEY, CULTIST MINISTER OF PHOTOGRAPHY

RESOLUTION: WORK. PLAY. WORK. PLAY…   XX

 

Jane Helpern

photo via Jane Helpern

JANE HELPERN, CULTIST

Read more. Write more. See more movies in theaters. Spend more time in nature. Stop picking my face. Stop feeling guilty. Be more selfish. Cultivate my female friendships. Have more sex. Wear fun lipstick. More topless hiking.

 

Yasi Salek

photo by Jennifer Clavin

YASI SALEK, CULTIST

To wear fancier underwear. And cat spit.

Yasi Salek

About Yasi Salek

likes parentheses.