![[LISTS] Things I Bought At The Grocery Store That Were Not Cat Litter When I Went To Buy Cat Litter But Forgot Cat Litter](http://www.cultistzine.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/41C5BVTjoFL._SL500_SS500_-290x290.jpg "[LISTS] Things I Bought At The Grocery Store That Were Not Cat Litter When I Went To Buy Cat Litter But Forgot Cat Litter")
[LISTS] Things I Bought At The Grocery Store That Were Not Cat Litter When I Went To Buy Cat Litter But Forgot Cat Litter
This morning I drove to the grocery store with the express purpose of buying cat litter then became enchanted by the magical labyrinth that is the grocery store and bought several things that were not cat litter and forthwith left without cat litter. Here is a list of those things: 1. Salt and Vinegar Kettle...
![[LISTS] Ten Pavement Lyrics That May Or May Not Be About Love](http://www.cultistzine.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/pavement-pic1VDAY-290x290.jpg "[LISTS] Ten Pavement Lyrics That May Or May Not Be About Love")
[LISTS] Ten Pavement Lyrics That May Or May Not Be About Love
In honor of Valentine’s Day and the dude at airport security who asked me if I “believe in Valentine’s Day” as if it’s a mythical creature like a troll or a nymph when in reality I had forgotten it was Valentine’s Day until that very moment (thank you airport security dude, you are effectively now...
![[EMPTY PROMISES] New Year's Resolutions By Cultist & Friends](http://www.cultistzine.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/NYR-TN-copy-290x290.jpg "[EMPTY PROMISES] New Year's Resolutions By Cultist & Friends")
[EMPTY PROMISES] New Year’s Resolutions By Cultist & Friends
In keeping with the great tradition of looking sideways at self-improvement around January 1st, here is a giant post of New Year’s Resolutions from our friends. Perhaps they will inspire you (but probably not). (photos mostly stolen from all sorts of places, it’s not like we make any money you could take in a lawsuit...
![[HIGH FIVES] End Of Year Top 5 Lists By Cultist And Pals](http://www.cultistzine.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/END-OF-YEAR-290x290.jpg "[HIGH FIVES] End Of Year Top 5 Lists By Cultist And Pals")
[HIGH FIVES] End Of Year Top 5 Lists By Cultist And Pals
We are nothing if not extremely on the ball (actually we are pretty much everything but that) so here are our end-of-year lists, just a few short hours before the New Year. We asked some of our pals to help out, and the result is basically a Cultist and pals circle jerk. Enjoy: MATT...
![[LISTS] The Top 5 Things I Say About My Bangs](http://www.cultistzine.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/TOO-SHORT2-290x290.jpg "[LISTS] The Top 5 Things I Say About My Bangs")
[LISTS] The Top 5 Things I Say About My Bangs
About a year ago, I decided to cut bangs, and I have managed to feel something different about them emotionally every single day since. Below is an excerpt of something I wrote before I chopped them (because normal people totally write public diary entries before they make aesthetic changes), and below that (drum roll...
![[BABY STEPS] Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse](http://www.cultistzine.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Walmart-Survival1-290x290.jpg "[BABY STEPS] Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse")
[BABY STEPS] Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse
Fine. I’ll admit it Yasi. I’m a little weirdly obsessed with the impending doom of the Zombie Apocalypse (Ed Note: as evidenced by the fact that you capitalized the event name like it’s a holiday). I don’t know about y’all, but I actually think that zombies are real and they scare the shit out of...
The Internet Told Me to Tell You…
On Wednesday night at around 8pm I found out that Tim Tebow had been traded to the New York Jets. The news broke just after noon, but I found out eight hours later when I looked at my phone and saw that someone had tweeted an Instagram photo of a screencap they took of a...
Top 5 Most Embarrassing Things I Googled This Week
In no particular order: 1. What is Rihanna’s work out? 2. How tall is Justin Theroux?* 3. Can I take Nitrofuran Monohyd** for my sore throat? 4. Keyboard-Cat-Walker-Texas-Ranger-AIDS 5. How do I make rice in a rice cooker?*** *Just curious? **Bladder infection prescription I found in my medicine cabinet. ***Don’t ask
![[LISTS] Shit My Mom Says](http://www.cultistzine.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/IMG_5131-290x290.jpg "[LISTS] Shit My Mom Says")
[LISTS] Shit My Mom Says
Inspired by the 647 YouTube videos and Jane’s most recent post (I’m a copy-cat with no original ideas, so what sue me) I decided to write my own version. Not of shit I say (maybe one day I’ll bless you with all the deep thoughts that come out of my mouth, mostly aimed at my...
![[LISTS] Shit I Say. Pt. 1](http://www.cultistzine.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/chapstick-cherry-48ct-jar1-290x290.gif "[LISTS] Shit I Say. Pt. 1")
[LISTS] Shit I Say. Pt. 1
Everyone is so busy getting all offended by the latest viral onslaught of “Shit Girls Say,” that I think we forget how true a lot of it is. Now, don’t get me wrong, guys say a lot of stupid things too. So many, in fact, that it has thus far been impossible to consolidate them...
![[LISTS] What Not To Put in Your Vagina](http://www.cultistzine.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/chastity-belt1.jpg "[LISTS] What Not To Put in Your Vagina")
[LISTS] What Not To Put in Your Vagina
These days (thanks to my wonderful boyfriend) I don’t have as much trouble deciding what shouldn’t go in my vagina as I used to. But for those of you who are still unclear, here is Cosmopolitan’s guide. It’s pretty standard stuff, tattoo ink and glue are not recommended, and, in case you were thinking about...
![[LISTS] Things I Refrained From Saying Today Because Of Jane's MLK Post](http://www.cultistzine.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/biggulp1-290x290.jpg "[LISTS] Things I Refrained From Saying Today Because Of Jane's MLK Post")
[LISTS] Things I Refrained From Saying Today Because Of Jane’s MLK Post
(See Jane’s post HERE) 1. I can’t believe I have to work today when I could be at the Agent Provocateur sale! 2. Ugh, there’s literally nothing good to eat around my office. LITERALLY. 3. I’m SO tired/annoyed/bored/over it. 4. I wish Natalie Portman would just go away already.* 5. I wish someone would just...
![[SEVEN QUESTIONS IN HEAVEN] Danny Brown](http://www.cultistzine.com/wp-content/plugins/featured-post-with-thumbnail/scripts/timthumb.php?src=http://www.cultistzine.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/DB-TN.jpg&h=73&w=73&zc=1)
![[CULT TALK] Discussing Social Media With Chad Ubovich Of Chad & The Meatbodies](http://www.cultistzine.com/wp-content/plugins/featured-post-with-thumbnail/scripts/timthumb.php?src=http://www.cultistzine.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/TN2.jpg&h=73&w=73&zc=1)
![[BABY STEPS] How To Blow A First Date](http://www.cultistzine.com/wp-content/plugins/featured-post-with-thumbnail/scripts/timthumb.php?src=http://www.cultistzine.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Fatal-Attraction_l.jpg&h=73&w=73&zc=1)
![[CULTIST CRUSH] Skaters](http://www.cultistzine.com/wp-content/plugins/featured-post-with-thumbnail/scripts/timthumb.php?src=http://www.cultistzine.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/skaters1-12.jpg&h=73&w=73&zc=1)
