Sex and Relationships
[TRUE STORY] I'd Fuck Myself

[TRUE STORY] I’d Fuck Myself

A plot twist in a recent sci-fi film lead the protagonist into an unexpected collision with a clone of himself.  I couldn’t help but wonder, “What would I do if I met my own clone?”  And without hesitating, I answered in my head, “fuck myself.” I began noticing my own autosexuality sometime in high school. ...
[COSMO SUCKS] Does Anyone Have a Spare Boat So I Can Rock It?

[COSMO SUCKS] Does Anyone Have a Spare Boat So I Can Rock It?

One day, Cosmo is going post a listing on Mediabistro calling for a cynical and clever sex writer with a penchant for the casual misuse of who and whom and a heavy reliance on inserting her own emotional baggage into all assignments for emphasis. On that day, I will jump with joy (I don’t jump, so what...
[LISTS] The 5 Best Compliments My Vagina Has Ever Gotten

[LISTS] The 5 Best Compliments My Vagina Has Ever Gotten

In this humble piece of work by Larry Hardin (excerpted above), recently published in a lusty erotic novel I dusted off at a yard sale, I mean Thought Catalog, the self-descibed guy with a whole bunch of dick thoughts, listed for us, in far too much detail, the five best compliments his very cocky cock...
[BABY STEPS] How To Ruin A Family Member's Wedding

[BABY STEPS] How To Ruin A Family Member’s Wedding

Wedding season is in full swing, has been for a few months, and will, presumably, continue to be, as long as you maintain friendships with your kale-loving, craft beer drinking, paperless post using friends. Signing up for a lifetime of joy is great and all, but I will never fully understand the injustice that is...
[TRUE STORY] I Cried At Home Depot

[TRUE STORY] I Cried At Home Depot

If you’ve read this site at all, you may have astutely pegged us as the gender-equality types, and we are (we are, right Jane?), but every once in a while I think a thought that is so unflinchingly non-feminist that I start to question my own ideals a bit. (I know Jane does too, but...
[TRUE STORY] How Therapy Made Me Crazy

[TRUE STORY] How Therapy Made Me Crazy

At the risk of sounding dramatic (who am I kidding, I’m basically an honorary theater geek minus the billowy blouses and pirate hats), I think I’ve overdosed on therapy. As I result, I’m finding it increasingly more challenging to relate to, tolerate, or even surface-level enjoy the company of other lesser-psychoanalyzed individuals. This isn’t so...
[TRUE STORY] Help, I'm Hair Removal Challenged

[TRUE STORY] Help, I’m Hair Removal Challenged

You guys, I’m 26 (almost 27). Not to brag, but I’m naked. A lot. While most of my friends are perpetually running late for plans because of various laser, waxing, threading, sugaring, sand-papering, tweezing, sewing, knitting, and other painful sounding hair removal appointments, I’m still right here in the early 2000s, sprawled out on the...
[BABY STEPS] A Nuditorial: How To Send The Perfect Sext

[BABY STEPS] A Nuditorial: How To Send The Perfect Sext

Finally. The time has come in your relationship when you deem it appropriate and necessary to send the king of all sexts – the naked pic (the Holy Roman Emperor of all sexts is the video, but let’s not worry about that yet). I know taking a nude photo of yourself isn’t exactly rocket science,...
[TRUE STORY] I Love Younger Men, And Here's Why (A Rebuttal)

[TRUE STORY] I Love Younger Men, And Here’s Why (A Rebuttal)

What? Yes, yes this is in fact an article in response to a post Jane wrote almost five months ago, and yes I know it’s a bit, as they say, late in the game. At the moment, any new topic I try to write about inevitably takes form as a sad unfinished draft in the back-end...
[TRUE STORY] Sometimes Couples Don't Have Sex And It's Fine: Part 2

[TRUE STORY] Sometimes Couples Don’t Have Sex And It’s Fine: Part 2

And I’m back. Where was I? Oh yeah, my abuse of sex as a means to express power and dominance, that’s right… (if you missed yesterday’s post, or need a refresher, go here.) But, to sum it up, I was talking about how I didn’t have sex for a couple of weeks, and why I...
[TRUE STORY] Sometimes Couples Don't Have Sex And It's Fine: Part 1

[TRUE STORY] Sometimes Couples Don’t Have Sex And It’s Fine: Part 1

So, I have a confession to make. Well, two, actually. I’m the worst girlfriend ever, and the worst sex editor ever. Why? Mind your fucking business, and also because I recently went three weeks without having sex with my boyfriend. And the icing on my double-decker failure cake, decoratively topped with sex-starved tuxedo and gown-wearing miniature...
[SEX ON THE DECK] Episode 1 "40 Days And 40 Nights Of Cunninglingus"

[SEX ON THE DECK] Episode 1 “40 Days And 40 Nights Of Cunninglingus”

We are Kaitlin and Rachel, two fairly normal, though slightly macabre, twenty-something year old ladies. Tired of the shock and surprise on unsuspecting men’s faces when we openly talk about our sexual prowess, we are on a mission to make you slightly uncomfortable, get a few laughs, and maybe gain some personal insight. Sex On...