Call me a gullible sap. Call me a fag. Call me a fag hag, even. Sticks and stones, people. Sticks and stones. Dan Bodan stabs and soothes like icy-hot while channeling a twisted, lovesick, seedy James Blake in this tragically romantic video for “Aaron,” which will no doubt unearth chilling memories of your tempestuous relationship with a sketchy coke addict (if you ever had one, not that I did, or maybe I did, but just saying). Ghostlike, flamboyant, raw, raunchy, and explosive, like bubble gum and pre-ejaculate, with desperate, youthful longing, it’s one of the most homoerotic and uncomfortable videos I’ve seen in a while. And I love it. The cherubic Bodan, with his blonde hair, big blue eyes, and backwards baseball cap, has a youthful charm which begs for a hug at the 2:13 mark when he releases a piercing cry that is unmistakably one of pure heartbreak and unadulterated desire. An earnest cry; a jarring reminder of many late nights, of getting fucked up, of sitting on a stoop, of shivering, of watching the back of the one you thought you loved (who you thought loved you, too) walking away from you after he’s come and you’re coming down from cheap booze and crappy drugs.

Bodan makes intense, unbroken eye contact that will cause you to squirm and avert his gaze as it goes on way too long, as he talks about the betrayal and the scent of cum and tourist dick on the one he loves (I bet you didn’t know you could identify a tourist by the smell of his penis), and speaks, idealistically, of growing up and the problems it will solve, blissfully ignorant of the problems it will cause.

Watch the video for “Aaron” below: