I’m back to help you preserve your brain cells, and any time that could be spent perusing Cultist, instead of deciphering Cosmo’s top secret girl code (and wondering how much money you have to spend until you are good enough at being a girl. HOW MUCH?) I bring you Cosmo’s LATEST NEWS, TIPS AND GOSSIP, as interpreted by me, Jane.

  1. Wear pig tails and fake a midwest accent? Sexy.
  2.  Burn ‘em all or get a boob job.
  3. “C’mon baby, just the tip”
  4. Lisa Ling and dark chocolate (but don’t tell anyone).
  5. From Bebe
  6.  “I’m a Lesbian. Yes, like a full blown one.”
  7.  Is that like a magic trick? Does it make him last longer? (please please please).
  8.  Dirty Little Cum Slut. Too much? Sorry…
Jane Helpern

About Jane Helpern

Writer & Over-sharer. @janeohelp jane@cultistzine.com