Welcome to Ask Some Guy, our new semi-regular feature in which we take your hard-hitting questions for men, and ask awesome dudes who are mostly unqualified to give advice in any capacity. Our first Guy is music producer and NYC native Blockhead (he has a real name and it’s Tony Simon but if a grown man chooses wants to go by a cutesy moniker, who are we to stand in their way?). Blockhead likes making multi-layered, dark instrumental music, beating me at Facebook Scrabble, and being funny on the internet (via his Twitter and his blog, Phat Friend). Years ago I interviewed Mr. Head about television preferences for a amateur hour piece called “Watching TV With Blockhead”, which lucky for the both of us I am unable to locate on the internets.
Here are his answers to your burning questions:
Sometimes I do dorky things and then try to tell myself that they’re endearing and remind myself that everyone likes Liz Lemon, so they must like me too. Is that accurate? Can you give me a run down of what is endearing?
I think that’s different for every guy. I mean, some guys like when a girl honks when she laughs but might find it totally annoying if another girl were to do it. “Dorky” things, in general, are pretty harmless though. But it becomes an issue if you’re doing these “dorky” things on purpose as a means of flirting.
And, I hate to be that guy (but I am a guy so): what men find cute is dependent on the girl; i.e has a lot to do with how they look. The “cuter” a girl is, the more likely her quirkiness is gonna be attractive while the more busted a girl is, that same quirk may be disgusting. It’s kinda the blueprint for why Zooey Deschanel is famous. She’s the type who could fart for 8 minutes straight and guys would still be like “Awww!” (though no self respecting man should ever say “Awww”), meanwhile, Kelly Osbourne burps and we’re ready to burn her at the stake. Yeah…pretty fucked up.
I just started dating a new guy and I really like him. He’s attractive, smart, funny, talented, and sweet. Plus he dresses well (and simply), until it comes down to his feet. Let’s just say they sell this brand of footwear at Whole Foods and while I’m all for helping the children (I think that’s what these hackey-sack noveau-hippie shoes do) I’d rather write a check to a children’s charity than look at those shoes ever again. But the minute these thoughts go through my head, I feel horribly superficial and gross. I’m sure I wear some shit he hates too. Women love to say “oh clothes? you can just change those” but I’ve never subscribed to that philosophy cause it’s dumb. So my question is this: after a sufficient amount of time has passed and it’s acceptable to give a gift, can I give him a pair of Chucks or some such thing? Or do I just let his charitable canvas footwear live?
Waiting for both shoes to drop
Girl who dates a guy with weed shoes,
There are two types of guys who wear those hippie hemp shoes.
1)Guys who wear them for the cause
2)guy who truly don’t care about their footwear.
If he’s a type 1 guy, I’m afraid you’re just gonna have to deal. He’s got his principals and they’re somehow related to his feet. Sorry. Though, I think you could still buy him the Chucks and see what happens.
If he’s a type 2 guy, then he’s yours to mold. Lots of guys are indifferent about most things. Shoes (specifically sneakers) are not typically one of those things but, hey, it happens. So, if he’s that dude, buy him whatever shoes you’d like to see him in and he will wear them.
For your sake, I hope he’s a type 2 guy cause those hemp kicks are the worst.
I met a guy the other night. It was way past the hour of being demure, closer to morning than anything else, and he promptly told me I was cute and that he wanted to take me home with him. After taking more drugs that is advisable if you want to successfully consummate a fortuitous meeting, we went back to his place. It was fun, a little awkward and totally something I would do again. Totally don’t want to date this dude, just want to make out, bone, maybe go dancing. He texted later that he wanted to do more of the same, but I haven’t heard word since. Do I initiate the next meeting or wait for him to tell me he wants me back in his bed?
Fuck a third date rule
If you’re truly into the idea of keeping this guy around as a non-serious fuck buddy type thing, by all means call him when you want him. I always assume that most guys aren’t out looking for serious relationships at last call. But no guy in his right mind is gonna turn down a steady and fun sex friend who is on the same wavelength. So, next time you’re a little tipsy and feel like taking a trip to the boneyard, shoot him a text. If he doesn’t respond or is busy, no big loss. At least then, it’ll define the role you’d like him to be in and, in all actuality, he’ll be all for it. If you can’t tell, I’m very pro-fuck buddies. It rarely works but, when it does, it’s like everything makes sense in the world.
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