There’s a new head vagina in town (haha, head vagina, get it?), and her name is Slutever. You guys are probably old butties from VICE, or maybe you’ve been following her provocative and insightful Breathless column for Vogue. However you knew her before, maybe you met at a Forever 21 in a suburban mall and bonded over high-waist leggings and swapped virginity loss stories (nm that’s my fantasy), you’ve never been closer than you will be if you buy one of these glorious vaj tees. 2014 is the year of pattern mixing, platform Birkenstocks and vaginas. Preferably all together. I kind of want to make my vagina wear a Birkenstock, but that’s neither here nor there. Cop one of these v limited edition vaj tees (only 200 available!) and wear one to ward off anti-abortion white men who think that just because they once passed through a birth canal they have some right to dictate who or what your body does in its spare time. In case you’re not sure where you can wear it, here are some suggestions:

1) The Gyno
2) An East Side Music Venue
3) A Porn Convention
4) A Fancy Fashion Event To Look Full DGAF
5) Anywhere In Amsterdam or Berlin
6) A Feminist Art Show
7) To Eat Vegan Pizza
8) To Starbucks
9) To My House, Where We’ll All Be Watching “Broad City” And Wearing These
10) To The Pleasure Chest

 

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Jane Helpern

About Jane Helpern

Writer & Over-sharer. @janeohelp jane@cultistzine.com