Today in Trying-To-Reach-Our-Fashion-Quota-But-Not-Really-Knowing-Anything-About-Fashion, we bring you this “comprehensive” list of 10 semi-fashion-y things we found on the Internet, that epitomize the spirit of not-giving-a-fuck-ness, in no particular order.
You guys, I try really hard not to talk about Rihanna. Like, almost as hard as I try not to talk about Lena Dunham’s naked body. These two subjects are just way too heady and emotional for me to touch on in any casual capacity. To fully articulate my thoughts on these heated issues would require me to pen a whole new 7,000 word Feminist Manifesto (of no connection to the one written by would-be-Warhol-assasin Valerie Solanos). But I give up. If Rihanna could speak only one thing for the rest of her life, it would probably be “Fuck It.” And this “Look at my perfect bare ass” Instagram under the guise of a “look at my sexy new Prada thigh-highs” Instagram, is an exemplary instance of that.
This wallet/pouch/coin purse thing by Undercover is rude. Not because of the middle finger monogram, which is fun and irreverent and expresses one of our favorite and most overused sentiments, but because we want it in every color and can’t have it, and that makes us feel sad like a spoiled private school girl whose daddy won’t up her allowance. (PS Yasi likes it in a black and I like it in this color, but I’d happily accept the gray one as a free gift also).
This partially-sheer-polka-dot-frock that Jenna Lyons wore to the Vanity Fair Oscar party is a little bit sister wife-y and a whole lot of “Fuck It.” On this particular day I like to think that Jenna rolled out of bed with girlfriend Courtney Crangi, reached for her contact solution in her bedside table but got sidetracked when she accidentally knocked over a dildo, then “cuddled” an extra fifteen minutes before throwing on this outfit instead of the crisp white denim pantsuit (that she would wear mostly unbuttoned), and which she’d strategically picked out to coordinate with Courtney’s black one.
You guys might think that Kim Kardashian’s skintight maternity wear is the antithesis of “Fuck It.” You should know that you’re wrong. The fact that Kim will cling to all things body con until the time has arrived to breastfeed her newborn child through the cutout in that bedazzled blue tube dress is pretty bad ass. Kim is so devoted to her cause of absolute hotness that she literally tells her American Apparel sweatpants to go fuck themselves out loud. Also, she wears satin printed peplum trousers while pregnant, which is a trend that I did not know existed until just now. You. Go. Girl. (photoshop via The Cut)
Miley Cyrus has been saying “Fuck It” for a minute now. But just when I didn’t know there was any more fucking of the Disney system to be done, she goes and dyes her hair blue, then says it isn’t blue, and that it is, in fact, platinum. While I’m not sure who is the confused party in this situation, because this is irrefutable photographic evidence of its blueness, it doesn’t really matter because either way Miley Cyrus says her hair is not blue so “Fuck It.”
We found this shirt while googling “best french fries in Los Angeles.” Ok that’s not true, although we have done that. We actually found it on our friend Jayne Min’s blog Stop It Right Now, which is an actual, legitimate, respectable, professional fashion site that features well-tailored and ahead-of-the-curve things that haven’t been circling the internet for three weeks already. Either way, this shirt is pretty “Fuck It” because fashion is a lot to do with not eating, and this shirt is a lot to do with eating delicious carb-y things. Get it? Cool.
I’m not sure, but I think I see Bambi. And a hair net. And flowers. And reptile space boots. And a runway. I don’t know for sure because I forgot where I first found this, but I’m almost positive it’s a a look from Givenchy. Urgent Update: it is Givenchy. I just verified by googling “Givenchy Bambi.” I feel like this is one of those moments when a designer is just like “Fuck It,” let’s design a whole collection around Bambi, because maybe the nostalgic association will make people feel sad and guilty. Remember how traumatized you were when Bambi’s parents died, because, other than your parents forcing you to eat vegetables, it was your first real exposure to how unfair life can be and all of the world’s injustices.
This is one of my favorite images from the Karen Walker X Advanced Style lookbook, (which I know surfaced on the web a few weeks ago, but seriously who died and made you the timely police?). This bias-defying, candy-colored, texture-rich editorial features so many of my favorite things. Women Who Look Like Art Therapists. Eccentricity. Silver Foxies. Quirky Sunglasses. Turquoise Chunky Jewelry. Authenticity. Unconventional Beauty. Badass Senior Ladies. If you aren’t acquainted with Ari Seth Cohen’s Advanced Style, you’re missing out on some serious style inspiration in the form of taste-making matriarchs who defy all societal stereotypes about what aging is supposed to look like. Mr. Seth Cohen’s muses, fly biddies who dress with more creativity and originality in their silver tresses than I have ever seen in any Man Repeller post, prove that age ain’t nothin’ but a number. And a state of mind. And theirs is “Fuck It.”
This is more of a WTF beauty moment than a “Fuck It” fashion moment, but it’s still making the list because I need an outlet to vent about this whole misguided situation (which will probably take off like a soaring eagle and make all the ad-based money in the land, leaving me to bitch about how “I’m not even jealous” to my three readers with these words I am not being paid to write). Well, Jane Pratt (you know, the blonde-tressed media empress of Sassy Mag and xojane fame) has gone and launched xoVain, a shoppable website devoted to all things vanity, beauty, and edible kitchen items you can slather on your skin to help you look 2-13 years younger. Their tagline is “No Beauty Secrets,” and really, the only secret I demand be revealed is what the fuck possessed them to conduct this hideous “makeunder” in which Snooki comes out looking like a despondent Day Of The Dead bride whose been left at the altar. Ratings stunt, anyone? Now that I think about it, this post relates quite well to the rest of the items on this list list, because the ever-innovative editress probably gathered her squad of traffic-mongering bloggers and said, out loud, “Now girls, we’re probably going to get a lot of blow back for this, but at least we’ll hit our numbers, which means you’ll all get your bonuses to spend on lipstick and/or cocaine. So “Fuck it.” (If you can’t tell, I’m bitter and jealous.)
Today’s final and proudest “Fuck It” fashion moment is brought to you by our very own HBIC, Yasi Salek, who drank her way through Paris Fashion Week wearing nothing but a modest rotation of band t-shirts, vintage flannels, and this one green clutch that was gifted to her by a fancy fashion person.