Hi, it’s me again, with your weekly dose of Girls coverage feminist style. We’ve got a lot to cover this week, and we feminists aren’t exactly known for our brevity, so let’s do this shit. This past episode, Hannah and her dating disasters were borderline unbearable to watch, but they do bring up some good points about what is and is not appropriate behavior. But mostly about what is NOT.

Our first lesson: it is inappropriate to be racist almost 100% of the time. Hannah and Sandy break up in the world’s most blatantly racist and yet post-racist way I never knew possible. It might have even been a nod to Stephen Colbert’s “I don’t see color but I know I’m white when…” because, let’s be honest, Comedy Central is where white liberal twenty-somethings get a good amount of their political ammo (myself included).

Girls has been criticized for staying within the safe confines of its white middle class comfort zone. So, I wonder, was this episode for the critics? Hannah proudly claims that she is unable to see the divisions of race, telling Sandy she didn’t even think of him as black until he brought it up. This whole “not seeing race” thing reminds me of all those annoying people in college who think saying this is somehow a more progressive and superior way of being. This is an unfortunate side effect of a liberal arts education, along with excessive pot smoking, which isn’t actually that unfortunate.

A post racial world just does not exist, as seen when Hannah accidentally quotes a Missy Elliott lyric while fighting with Sandy, then claims not to know who that is, which doesn’t even make sense. Even before the “flip it and reverse it” fail, Hannah drops the fun fact that two out of three inmates on death row are black men. Ouch. Hannah ultimately breaks up with Sandy because he both lied about reading her essay and then didn’t like it, and instead masks their separation behind the guise of differing political beliefs. Just when I thought Hannah couldn’t screw this up any worse, she completely loses control and asks Sandy if he wants to have sex with her, not because she actually desires to, but because she doesn’t believe in blue balls, nor his Republican ideology. She later justifies the breakup to Elijah and Marnie by saying she did it to uphold both of their rights. Hannah’s complete lack of self-awareness is rapidly ruining her relationships, and therefore earns her  my vote for second most frustrating character next to Marnie.

Our second lesson: it is inappropriate to enter an ex-girlfriend’s apartment without permission and then ask for a glass of milk. As much as I hate the way Adam’s character turned out on the show, I appreciate his character for drawing attention to a problem a lot of girls have with guys. In a world ridden with sexual violence and inequality, to guys, no does not mean no, it means maybe. What do Rom Coms teach the heterosexual community? Well, they teach us that if a guy really wants to date a girl, all he has to do is bother her until she says yes! It’s that simple! Over-eagerness to the point of stalking is endearing because it proves how much he likes you like some sort of old world courting ritual but way more creepy, and not to mention, dangerous.

If you are a little unclear about what I’m saying here, allow me to explain. While I too am an avid defender of how sweet and endearing a (well-built) lovable weird-o can be, I offer you a direct quote from Adam which proves that sometimes persistence goes too far: “As a man living my man-life, my desire for you cannot be repressed, and to quit this pursuit would be to shirk self-respect and abandon my own manhood. And that’s not going to happen.” Is it just me, or does that quote sounds a little, oh I don’t know, PSYCHOTIC? Does he even like her or is it about winning and conquering? Once Hannah kicks Adam out of her apartment after an awkward game of cat and mouse, she calls him back but gets cut off when the cops show up because she accidentally-but-sort-of-on-purpose dialed 911 and hung up before it rang. Adam then gets taken away in handcuffs for two unpaid parking tickets and an ignored summons for public urination, of course.

As for the rest of the episode, I’ve gone ahead and put together a live-blog slide show of sorts for your entertainment. Watch Girls!

We catch a glimpse of Hannah’s strict exercise regime that is probably part of the uber trendy CrossFit phenomena.

 

 

Here we see Adam acting like a complete psychopath singing songs to Hannah like this classic tune, “You destroyed my heart… thanks.”

 

 

Hannah is emotionally distraught after seeing the fragile state Adam is currently in and responds by confiding in Elijah, something about herself no one knows.

 

 

After an exhausting convo about the deteriorating state of her relationship with Adam, Elijah provides solace to a friend in need.

 

 

As for Marnie, she is still trying to figure out why nothing is going her way after further rejection and being told she doesn’t belong in the art world.

 

 

Shosh and Ray are better than ever as they stare sweetly into each other’s eyes. Shosh tells Ray, “I so wish you went to my summer camp,” prompting this face:

 

 

Meanwhile, Jessa and Thomas-John are living out their Brooklyn fantasy. Jessa consoles Hannah as any true friend would, by giving her advice that is both helpful and slightly backhanded.

 

 

Post-Sandy breakup brings us back to Hannah’s apartment where Elijah and Marnie are discussing their relationship made complicated by sexual intercourse.

 

 

Hannah discusses her recent breakup with the help of her best friend, Cool Whip.

 

 

HOW DOES HANNAH STILL LIKE HERSELF AFTER ALL THIS?!