Last week I was at this stupid fancy ass fashion party thing at the Bryant Park Hotel, and some PR dude said to me “Oh my, aren’t you the Princess of the Bowery” (outfit included a white lace skirt, a Raiders jacket and Vision Streetwear high-tops. Oh, and an Iced Out Bart pendant). Not gonna lie, at first I was actually a little offended like he had called me a hipster or something, and it really got me thinking. Was it time to change up my steez? Maybe try dressing like a girl for once and get some more cute boy ass (who are we kidding. I still crush it)?

But then Resort collections were launched. Holy scum-bag-cute-balls! It totally makes me feel better about my schizophrenic-tomboy-lesbian-biker look. And I do it for like 1/8000th of the price of you fashion assholes! You know what coked-up gay PR dude? I will take that god-damned title with pride.

Here’s a roundup of some of my favorite dirt-bag looks from the season, otherwise known as “Rich People Shit”:

 

Proenza Schouler

 

Givenchy

 

Theyskens’ Theory

 

Theyskens’ Theory

 

Stella McCartney

 

Chanel

 

Chanel

 

3.1 Phillip Lim

 

3.1 Phillip Lim

 

10 Crosby by Derek Lam

 

Acne

 

Celine

 

Thanks for making it so that I still don’t have to brush my hair or wear makeup to get laid. Good looking out Resort Collections.  **fistpound**.

 

All images courtesy of Style.com