About a year ago, I decided to cut bangs, and I have managed to feel something different about them emotionally every single day since. Below is an excerpt of something I wrote before I chopped them (because normal people totally write public diary entries before they make aesthetic changes), and below that (drum roll please) are the top 5 things I say about my bangs (to various people, but mostly to Jane, so direct all your pity at her).
PRE-BANG-CUTTING, Circa May 2011
So I’m at that place that we all get to periodically where we hate everything about our hair and if we don’t change something we will die of abject boredom (other people experience this right? other people also kept Straight Hair Scrapbooks when they were adolescents which they filled with photos of models with lank, shiny hair and shampoo ads that they gazed lovingly upon wishing that their stupid curly frizzy hair would all fall out in a freak accident and be replaced by flowing straight locks, right? Right? ).
After a misguided attempt at the whole “colorful hair” thing (my temples are now a weird purple/white blonde/black mix that make me look like some sort of aged punk rocker) and a devastating hair-cut (it was only like 5-6 inches but I’m not ashamed to admit I cried for three days over it) I think it’s now time for bangs. In my head I will look gamine and French, like Anna Karina (who was actually Danish, but keep with the image), smoking my cigarette while lounging around in a Breton top, but I’m sure in reality I will just look like a cast member of Fraggle Rock as I am not particularly adept at blow-drying and my curls still haven’t forgiven me those scrapbooks.
Next post: HATS.
THE TOP 5
1. My bangs are too short. (Sometimes accompanied by tears, most often right after a cut)
2. My bangs are too long.
3. Do my bangs look Muppet-y?
4. Do my bangs look dirty?
5. Do my bangs look fluffy? (Which is slightly, but meaningfully, different that Muppet-y)