So unless you live in a cave or in Nova Scotia or something (Ed Note: pretttty sure the nice folks of this Canadian Maritime province also have access to internet, Al), you have obvs heard of that crazy cannibal dude in Miami that ate that other dude’s face while high on a mysterious new drug called “Bath Salts”. First of all, sweet fucking drug name bro. That is for sure the pussiest sounding street name for a drug that has ever existed. What’s next? Scoring Lavender Oil on the corner? Maybe some Camomile Tea? Let’s go smoke some Fuzzy Peach Body Wash homie! Pfft. Losers.
Anyways. I (along with half the world) totes have a weird conspiracy theory about the crazy cannibal dude. I think that he’s a zombie and that the end of the world is coming. I mean, have you ever seen 28 Days Later? This is a legitimate concern you guys. Do you think that maybe Bath Salts is the governments code word for Zombies?
So listen, I have a genius survival plan that y’all can totally feel free to steal. I’m gonna dress like a Zombie so that they just think that I’m one of them and leave me alone, then all I have to do is find my way to a government base or whatever the fuck they have set up. But, with that said, I still need to look kind of hot just in case a dude that looks like Cillian Murphy shows up. (Better safe than sorry). So this is my undead wardrobe. Bring it, Zombie bitches.
1. Raquel Allegra Tank Top $330, Available at Traffic
2. Fauxtale Porcupine Headdress $3800, Available at Anastasia
3. Junya Watanabe Sheer Coat $1793, Available at Farfetch
4. Siwy Shorty Shorts $167, Available at Revolve
5. Ann Demeulemeester Chain Necklace $70, Available at Farfetch
6. Dominic Jones Metal Tip Gloves, Available at Dominic Jones
7. Maison Martin Margiela Sneakers $380, Available at American Rag
8. Pamela Love Claw Cuff $295, Available at Capitol
You’re totally welcome for saving your life.