I’m not real fashionable or anything (actually I’m one parasol and a few extra strokes of eyeliner away from being a mall goth) so I’m not going to speak to the cultural significance or artisan construction or whatever of this Givenchy dress, I am just going to tell you that I love it. I love it so much that I want to purchase it (AKA be given it PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME THIS or I will rip it from Sky Ferreira’s cold dead body) and wear it everywhere. DMV appointment? No problem, let me throw on my sheer Givenchy situation and let’s renew this motherfucking registration! Is it time for the dentist? GREAT just make sure you give me the extra large blue bib because I don’t want any fluoride spittle on this bad boy. I will wear it to the post office, to the drug store, and to the bank (JK no one goes to the bank anymore what is it the 1890s?). I will glide up and down the aisles of Trader Joe’s like some sort of Victorian sex goddess, finally having the courage to use the following line on the cute guy I always see there: “You like falafel chips? I like falafel chips!” (Yes, I’m going to die alone but at least I can be buried in THIS DRESS).

Yasi Salek

About Yasi Salek

likes parentheses.