Hey! You! Yes, you, the one sitting there tormenting your friend with your dude problems for the 800th time. Give her a fucking break man, she’s tired, and most likely she has her own emotional nightmare relationship to deal with. Instead, why don’t you ask some random guy? I know what you’re thinking. Where do I find this complete stranger to burden with my problems relating to the opposite sex? Here, that’s where! Email us your queries about dating, Spike TV, politics, religion, string theory, blow jobs etc. (seriously whatever we don’t care) and we promise we’ll tap some guy with little to no qualifications to answer them for you. (You can see an example HERE).

Just send your question (along with a fake name and your age) to
asksomeguy@cultistzine.com, and sit back and wait for us to fix your entire life. YOU’RE WELCOME.

*Woody Allen will most likely not be answering any of your questions. Sorry.